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1.Just a Jew

(Joseph)

It's the second time this month
I've had to buy this tool,
Second time this month, it was stolen by some...
...Roman fool.
And I can kick the ground and curse his name,
But what good will that do?
If he's a Roman, and me?
I'm just a Jew?

Second time this year they’ve cut my wages back.
Of course they say not to call it a pay cut,
It's a way to help the Jews get what we lack.
So we make the curbstones for "our" roads
With our limestone axes,
And to lower "our" costs, they raise our taxes.

And Mary's gonna see this shiner,
And say, "What are you gonna do about it?
Are you gonna get him back?" she'll ask
And I'll say, I doubt it.
If I explain this one more time, sweetheart,
Maybe I can get it through to you.
You see, that guy, he's a Roman,
But me? I'm just a Jew.

And I'll just want to share a cup of wine,
Or maybe talk a bit about the wedding,
And wonder what kind of kids we might have,
Or better yet, what kind of bedding.

Oh, but Mary's gonna pace the floor,
And just talk until her face turns blue.
She'll say, "It isn't right. It isn't fair!
And I wanna know what you’re gonna do.”
And I’ll say, my plan is to do nothing at all,
And Just a-keep on a-lettin’ those Romans
Do as the Romans do.
And Mary, they love to mock me,
And kick the crap out of me too,
‘Cause they’re all a bunch of Romans,
But me?
I’m just a Jew.


2.I Want to Be Delivered

(Mary)

I want to be delivered.
I want to be set free.
I want to get across those waters;
That's what was promised to me.
Wandering the desert,
A wilderness of shame,
Drunk on worries of everyday life,
We've almost forgotten our name.
I'm half afraid this is the story
Someone will tell
Of how we fell ill, but our former glory
Would not make us well.


Don't make me wait ‘til after i'm gone.
If you won't deliver us, let us leave.

If you chose another people, and you're moving on,

Just save us all the trouble of trying to believe,

And let your people go.

What does it take to wake you,
To see you raise your hand?
To hear your justice roll,
Your thundering command?
‘Cause hoping and never receiving,
It wears a heart out.
I used to feel full of believing;
Now I’m emptied by doubt.

Don't make me wait ‘til after I'm gone.
If you won't deliver us, let us leave.
If you chose another people, and you're moving on,
Just save us all the trouble of trying to believe,
And let your people go.
Let your people go.
Just let your people go,
And say goodbye.


3.Hello, Mary

(The Angel)

Hello.
Hello.

Hello, Mary.
You are favored.
God is with you.

Don't be afraid.
Don't be afraid.
Don't be afraid.

You will
Conceive in your womb,
Give birth to a son.
He will have greatness,
Son of the most high.

The holy ghost will come down,
His power overshadow you.
The boy will be called
Jesus,
Jesus, which is "God delivers us."
Your son will be
The son... of... God.

Behold.
Nothing is impossible.
Nothing is impossible.
Nothing is impossible
With... your... God.


4.I Don't Know That She Wants What I Want

(Joseph)

Back when I was a little boy,
As soon as I’d find something to enjoy.
My old man would cook up one more job for me to do.
He’d say, “I’ll get an honest day’s worth of work out of you.”
So, when he taught me how to cut rock,
I learned to work like the devil.
He’d say “Fast, boy ! Clean, boy!
And when I say ‘clean,’ I mean dead sea level!”
But now I’m a grown son, and when the work’s done,
I take it easy once in a while.
Unfortunately, I’m startin’ to see
That really isn’t Mary’s style, and so

I don’t know that she wants what I want.
I’m afraid she doesn’t see like I see.
Sometimes, I think I would, if I could,
Just get her to go away.
It would be a whole lot easier on me.

Now she’s like a storm in the desert, surprise.
She kicks up the sand, and it stings in your eyes,
And when my father told me Mary would be my wife,
I said, “but do you mean for my whole life?”
And then I got to know her, and it
Turns out she’s also hot-headed.
When we were young, and we would tangle,
I’d explain it from my angle. She’d never get it.
My old man would sit and smile,
And say this kind of love can take a while.
I wouldn’t sweat it. And then he said to me,

“Son, I don’t know that that you know what you want.
Joseph, I’m afraid that you can’t see what I see.
Sometimes, you’re on the brink, and so you think
You wish she’d just go away.
You’re still young enough
To believe that love should be easy.”

And then he sat me down, and said, “I keep seein’ you frown.”
I said, “It’s Mary. She just drives me up the wall.”
“But son, you know, the one you disagree with
Will often be the one god helps you see with,
And the one that god will use to fill your heart with love
The most of all.
So look me in the eyes, and say that you don’t love her.
I’ll call off the wedding.
You’ll be all done thinking of her.”
I tried to speak but found that I could not.
He said, “That’s what I thought.
Now, do you think this marriage talk is through,
Cause we’ve still got a half day’s worth of work left to do.

And so I still don’t know that she wants what I want.
I’m still afraid she doesn’t see like I see.
It turns out once I had my choice, I lost my voice,
And I couldn’t send her away.
Still, it doesn’t seem to make this much easier on me.
That’s probably why what my old man said
Still rings in my head,
“Son, nothin’ this good ever did come free or easy.”

5.Eggplant Casserole

(Benjamin)

Look. I don’t know what I said,
Cause I don’t know what I heard.
You know how it is.
Sometimes the words they go right by ya.
It could have been Mary.
It could have been Elizabeth. Shoot!
It could have been uncle Zechariah.

Here’s the point I’m tryin’ to make:
You know me; I prob’ly made a mistake.
So, don’t trust me. I’m no good for information.
I’m the kind of guy who spaces out in a conversation.
When it comes to talkin’, my tongue’s a Judean jumping bean, but one second of listening and...
See what I mean...
So whenever I say somethin’ uncouth,
Let’s both just blame confusion, and chalk it up to youth.
So whenever I hear something like
“Mary’s pregnant. I wonder who’s playin’ the dad role?”
We’ll just say,
“Mary’s eggplant tastes wonderful today in a casserole.”

One guy was like,
“you know joseph who has the Herod stonemason gig locked up?”
And then the other guys says, “yeah. I remember him,” and the first guy’s like,
 “I hear his betroth-ed–you know, Mary–she got knocked up.”

But, don’t trust me. I’m no good for information.

I’m the kind of guy who spaces out in a conversation.

So, whenever I say something question-able,
Let’s both agree right now to take it off the table.
And if I hear something like, “Mary she got knocked up,”
We’ll just say, you know prob’ly,
“Mary, she got stocked up... In her, uh... Pantry, you know...
So she could get the ingredients for...
An eggplant casserole.


6.Joseph's Never Gonna Believe Me

(Mary)

I know I told god I’d do whatever he needed.
I know that, once he starts a thing, he’s gonna complete it.
I know that if you live the life of god’s chosen servant–
Sure, you get a faith that’s alive and fervent–
But nobody ever wants the prophet around.
They always chase ‘em all to the edge of the town.

The heroes of the faith are always so well known,
But they also almost always wind up totally alone.
I’m gonna miss the good life Joseph woulda shown me,
Cause nobody ever really knew me like Joseph has known me.
And I told god I’d give up anything to help set his people free.
I meant what I said, and I got what I wanted,
But I never thought about how lonely it would be,
Cause Joseph’s never gonna believe me.

Elizabeth, don’t misunderstand what I’m saying.
I’m still humbled by the role that I’m playing.
Its wonderful, miraculous, and everything,
But you’ll forgive me for the lack of happiness I bring
Since the one with whom I want to share my joy
Turns out to be the one the news will surely destroy.

It feels like deliverance is gonna be personally expensive.
So, Elizabeth, forgive me if I’m just a little bit apprehensive.
I’m gonna miss the good life joseph would’a shown me,
Cause nobody ever really knew me like joseph has known me.
I told god I’d give up anything to help set his people free.
I meant what I said, and I got what I wanted,
But I never thought about how lonely it would be.
‘Cause joseph--
Joseph’s--
Joseph’s never gonna believe me!


7.Magnificat

(Elizabeth & Mary)

The Lord has done great things for me,
Taken away my disgrace,
Returned to my heart a hope I can see,
And a joy to my face.
But blessed are you also, dear,
With a richness you could never afford,
And I feel the honor of just being near
To the mother of my lord.
My soul glorifies the lord.
I rejoice in God my savior.
The mighty one has done great things for me,
And I call his name,
The one who does wonders with the strength of his arm,
Who scatters the proud, saves the humble from harm,
Who fills up the hungry, sends the rich away,
Who spoke to our mothers, and taught them to say,
“Holy, holy, holy.”


8.Hello, Joseph

(The Angel)

Hello.
Hello.
Hello, Joseph.
She is favored.
God is with her.
Don't be afraid.
Don't be  afraid.
Don't be  afraid to take Mary as your wife.
The holy ghost came down.
The child in her womb... is his.
She will give birth,
And you will name him “Jesus,”
And he will save
The people from their sins.


9.Herod's Way

(Micha & Avigail)

By the main road, we’re just four miles
South of the temple in Jerusalem,
Where they’re all so zealous, Herod got jealous,
Hence the palace in Herodium.

So, four miles north of us plus three southeast of us
Makes seven miles of road the locals say
Puts Bethlehem in the middle of something they call
"Herod’s way."

And I don’t know what this little town was like
When you grew up in it,
But things have changed, now a deranged
Knock could come at your door any minute.

If you didn’t have to stay, I’d definitely say
You’d be better off anywhere but here,
But since that’s not a choice, listen closely to my voice.
The best that you can do in Bethlehem
Is try to disappear.

If I try to count the ways, you’d probably be amazed.
Herod’s like a chef of death and injury,
Every dish too spicy or too gingery,
And one bite'll burn your nose and sting your eyes.
Oh, how he can harm. He can sprinkle a bit of his army
To season a dish of demise, or garnish it with alarm,
He can dice up a town or a farm–
Chop! Chop!–
With a blade made of soldiers we call "Herod’s arm."

And the arm can throw a punch,
Steal the money for your lunch,
And the arm is stirring the pot over the heat.
And now with the coming census,
We're all a little defenseless.
Oh and by the way do you know what they call every new woman they meet?
Fresh meat!

If you didn’t have to stay, I’d definitely say
You’d be better off anywhere but here,
But since that’s not a choice, listen closely to my voice.
The best that you can do in Bethlehem
Is try to disappear.

I’m not trying to sell you,
I just thought I should tell you,
But don’t waste my time, don’t waste his time.
Going once...
Going twice...
We’ll take it.
Deal.

10.My Part of the Story

(Joseph)

Moses was shakin’ when he caught sight
Of that bush, all aflame with god’s glory,
But all I can hang my hat on is one weird-ass dream.
I mean, what’s my part in this story?

‘Cause I’m just a regular, average guy,
And I don’t need my name written up in the sky,
But if you want me to hear you, I won’t lie.
I don’t need to you shout,
But you may need to leave out the allegory,
‘Cause i don’t understand
What you want with a man like me,
And I can’t see
What my part of the story might be.

I mean it's pretty wild, right?
A virgin with child?
I realize my role will be boring by comparison.
I’m not tryin’ to compete, I’m just happy to get a seat.
I just wanna be there where my Mary’s gonna bear a son.

‘Cause I’m just a regular average guy,
And I don't need my name written up in the sky,
And I try to have faith, but I can’t deny
That I wish I knew what you were up to with this baby.
I don’t really see why you needed me by her side.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad to be along...
Along for the ride, but why me?

I mean, I’m good with a pickaxe,
And I got a strong back,
But otherwise I can’t figure out why you might need
The kind of a guy, who–try as he might–cannot see
What his part of the story might be.


11.The Space Between

(Mary)

I keep telling myself,
When the baby gets here,
Everything will be better,
But is that true?
I keep telling myself,
When Jesus gets here,
Joseph will believe more like I do.

‘Cause I can’t put my finger on it,
But I still feel a space between.
He’s kind to me, but when he speaks,
I ask myself what does he really mean?
It’s the far off looks, the muted joy.
We say it is, but it’s not his boy.

I keep telling myself
When Jesus gets here,
Everything will be better,
But is that true?
I keep telling myself,
When Jesus gets here,
Joseph will believe more like i do.


12.Birthing Checklist

(Naphtali)

Number one: has the mother’s water broken?
Number two: is she set up with her birthing chair?
Number three–and remember, I have never
Been in the room when this is happening,
But from the breathing that I hear, I’m pretty sure:
They do some exercises.
Number four: are the contractions getting closer together?
Number five: is the mother feeling comfortable?
Number six: is the baby coming out hooves first?
Number seven: is the midwife in position, and prepared
To catch the baby when it comes flying out?
Number eight: has the husband been sent to go for a walk yet?
Number nine: do you have a backup shepherd to help
Pull on the baby in case of difficulty?
Number ten: has the husband thought of something sweet to say
To his wife when she’s done with her travail,
Perhaps a poem of no less than fifty lines?


13.Magnificat Reprise

(Mary, Joseph, Midwife, Naphtali)

My soul glorifies the lord.
Joseph & mary
I rejoice in god my savior.
Joseph, mary & Naphtali
The mighty one has done great things for me.
All cast
I call his name, holy, holy,
Holy,
Holy, holy, holy,
Holy, holy.


14.Sleepy Deepy, Poopy Sheepie

(Mary & Joseph)

Sleep, my poopy little sheep. Go to sleep,
Because the sheepies, they make the sleepies.
But what they don't do... Is make the pee-pees.
And as your eyes get a little droopy,
Don't you dare make a real poopy,

‘Cause these sleepy sheepies who think
A stinky poopy is so cutey don't really existy,
They're just your mommy going loopy.
So, let's make an endy of your wakey time.
Sleepy deepy, poopy sheepy, kaboobullah-beepy!

Your mommy's kinda going crazy, isn't she?
Because her sheepy will never sleepy.
So help me out here, ‘cause without a doubt we're
On the brink of genuine psychosis, besides
I bet they didn’t have this problem with baby Moses.
I present to you my sleeping laddie.
Uh huh, that's right. Yeah, who's your daddy?


15.Why Does God Have to Look So Human

(Mary & Joseph)

Why does god have to look so human?
Why so of the earth, and so not from above?
He was supposed to look like justice,
And instead he looks like love.

If he weren’t so tender, so tiny and sweet,
And if there weren’t such magic in our gaze
When our eyes meet,
I would not feel so much pain whenever, in my mind,
I see the dangers he’ll be called to face.
It makes me wonder how deliverance
Could come from such a fragile place.

Why does god have to look so human?
Why so just like every other?
He was supposed to look like lightning,
And instead he looks like his mother.

I thought he would carry us
Across the waters, dangerous.
Now I fear that when the waves grow wild,
No one carries mother;
Mother carries child.

I guess I thought he’d be half made of god,
And only half made up of stuff like you and me,
But he’s so much baby,
The other part is hard to see.
He was supposed to look like victory,
But here he is sleeping so peacefully.
And he doesn’t look like power, oh no.
Instead...
He looks like me.


16.O, Great Light

(Magus)

O, great sky.
O, great night.
O, great distance, filled with great light.
All of your guiding and leading me
Comes now to letting me finally see this royal child.

Such consolation for such an hour,
Such peaceful sleeping with such quiet power.
Oh, great holy one, what new thing have you done
On this ground I humbly trod?
All praise to this child,

Oh, great holy one, what new thing have you done
On this ground I humbly trod?
Oh, great holy one, what new thing have you done
On this ground I humbly trod?
All praise to this child, son of the unknown god.

17.Put a Little Faith In Me

(Joseph)

You don’t think I have enough faith, seriously?
Our boy’s a miracle
That no one else but you was even there to see.
And, sure, if I were you, I’d know
Beyond the shadow of a doubt,
But when it happens to you, there’ no believing to do.
It’s called knowing, can’t you figure that out?

Oh, Mary, give me a little credit.
I’m on the outside looking in and I don’t think you get it.
God decided not to let me see behind the curtain,
So the least that you can do is understand if I’m uncertain.

Sometimes I wonder how’s the air way up there?
It must get pretty thin, the atmosphere you’re in,
On the high horse where you declare.

C’mon, Mary, give me a little credit.
An angel came to me too, and I’m never gonna forget it.
But it’s one thing to be there, and another to hear about it.
And I don’t like to say out loud, but sometimes I doubt it.

Oh, Mary, all I do is wake up every day next to you,
And choose to believe.
Someday, maybe, you’ll find out
You’ve got your own kind of doubt,
And I bet it’ll be kind of hard for you to see
But, Mary, even though it sounds kind of odd,
I really don’t think
You’ll find your problem is with your faith in god.
No, Mary,
I think you need to see
If you can put a little faith in me.


18.Get Out of Herod's Way

(Micha, Avigail, Joseph, Mary)

The fire is falling down all around this town.
So, grab a sword and head out toward the water.
I don’t know about safe and secure.
It depends on what you can endure,
But I’m absolutely sure we should
Get out of Herod’s way.

Mary, please tell me you finally see
How could I have come up with such a bad plan?
The writing’s on the wall for you and me?
I would have put our boy at the mercy of a madman.
Let’s say we live to fight another day,
How could my mind have so easily deceived me?
We can live to be delivered in some other way.
Oh, Joseph, thank God you didn’t believe me.

It’s time to see the writing on the wall.
No more waiting for the other boot to fall.
Untie your apron strings. Go gather up our things.
Put the valuables where nobody can find them.
Anyone can see, the time has come to flee.
Only a fool would look behind them.
So, at first light, we meet back here,
And no one else needs to know where we went.
Pack only what you need, so we can keep up our speed.
Let’s shake on it if we’re all in agreement.
Deal!

Let’s go
Tomorrow morning, we’ll go
I don’t know what we should do,
So I’m depending on you.
It’s okay if you’re insecure,
‘Cause I’m absolutely sure we should
Get out of Herod’s...
Get out of Herod’s...
Get out of Herod’s...
Get outta Herod’s way!


19.No, Just Go

(The Angel)

Hello.
Hello.
Take your young child,
And his mother,
Go to Egypt, and stay...
Until I tell you otherwise.
The heart of Herod’s evil.
Even now he’s seeking
Your young child. He has plans to destroy him.
Go...
Right away...
Don’t wait...
For the break of day.
Go!
Go!
Go!


20.Just the Messenger

(Joseph & the Angel)

You don’t know what it’s like to be a man,
To be a good man, backed into a corner by his god
Over and over.
I’ve tried to do what’s right,
Do what he tells me.
I’ve gone along with the master plan
That none of us understands.

And now you waltz in here, like you own the place,
To tell me something God wouldn’t tell me to my face,
As if you didn’t know I have my own plans underway.
And I’m supposed to go along with what you advise
And I’m not s’posed to go with what seems right in my eyes
But this is my life,
So don’t I still have a say?

After all, you’re just the messenger!
You’re just the messenger!
But I’m the man!

He can’t know what it’s like
Unless he lives here,
It’s not enough just to
Send you down to deliver one more command.
So tell me if I understand your part in this right:
You don’t give the orders, and you’re not in the fight?
You just fly back and forth,
And tell us all what god wants to do?

So here’s a message for
You to take to back to your lord!
You tell him joseph says,
No!


21.Whose Baby is He

(Mary)

Maybe, he wanted the mother of his son to be angry.
Maybe, he wanted the mother of his son to be poor.
Maybe, he wanted the mother of his son to trip up everyone,
Make it easier to come undone.
Maybe he needed all of them to wonder,
Whose baby is he?

Maybe he wanted to make me an open door,
So no one would think that they weren’t worthy anymore,
So everyone can see someone as lowly as me...
Call him my baby.

Maybe, he wanted the father of his son to be on the outside.
Maybe, he wanted the father of his son to be unsure.
Maybe, he wanted the father of his son, in front of everyone,
To have his reputation come undone,
And maybe he needed everyone to see
That sometimes you give up your honor for the sake of mercy.

And maybe, he chose you like he chose me,
Not for your power but, for your humility,
So everyone could see someone as lowly as you
Call him their baby, too.

And maybe he brought us together for this thing,
So we’d see that, when we call, he’s still listening
To the outside and the poor,
To the angry and unsure,
He wants everyone to call his son their baby.


22.Walk Through the Sea on Dry Land

(Benjamin, Elizabeth, Joseph, Mary)

When the people of god called out
From their slavery, and suffering, and woe,
The lord said to Moses, “Tell Pharaoh to let my people go.”
But Pharaoh’s army chased Israel down to the shore,
And Israel thought all was lost right before they
Walked through the sea on dry land.
Yeah, they walked through the sea on dry land.

But halfway through that miracle, what did God’s people do?
They began to fear and wonder.
They said, “What if the power breaks
While the sea’s overhead? We’d be through.”
“What if the water takes us under?”

Sometimes the lord doesn’t speak, he divides
The sea in two halves, and if he provides,
Then you step into the place where
The water’s piled high on both sides,
And you walk through the sea on dry land.
Yeah, you walk through the sea on dry land.

Because even when we’re angry,
Even when we’re unsure,
Even when we don’t think we’re worthy,
Or don’t think we can endure,

Remember the shepherds who quaked at the sight
Of angels who spoke to our fears on that night, saying
“We bring to all people news of great joy,
That Joseph’s wife, Mary, gave birth to a boy!
And he is called
Immanuel, god with us.
Immanuel, god with us.
Don’t be afraid.
Don’t you be afraid.
So...
Don’t be afraid.
Don’t be afraid.

Waterdeep: Waterdeep Presents Songs From The Unusual Tale Of Mary & Joseph's Baby
All songs written by Don Chaffer
© 2017 Patron Investor Music (ASCAP)
All rights reserved.